Myths of Motherhood
With Mother's Day in our rearview mirror, we want to pause and dispel four myths about motherhood.
My Kids Reflect My Parenting
While our parenting can shape the choices that our kids make, the outcome of their decisions is not a weight for us to carry. If our kids make some poor choices or end up in some challenging life situations, they are ultimately responsible. Our calling and mission are to be faithful to provide our children with the best instruction we can (Proverbs 22:6). Our faithfulness is all that is in our control. Proverbs 31:25 describes a woman "clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Why does she laugh at the future? Because she knows that no matter what comes her way, God holds her future and walks beside her every step of the way.
My Kids Come First
The truth is that we cannot pour from an empty cup. Becoming the best version of ourselves for our families include filling our 'cups' with time in God's word, wise counsel from other mothers, and care for our spousal relationship. God intended for our relationship priorities to be, first, with Him, second, with our spouse, and then our family. Keeping these priorities in order allow women to flourish in their roles as mothers and spouses, long after the child-rearing days. Genesis 2:24 describes a relationship of two people becoming one flesh – physically, spiritually, emotionally, even before having children.
Self-Care is Selfish
On airplanes, they say, "Put your oxygen mask on first, then assist others around you." Without the proper level of oxygen, it is impossible to function, yet to be physically able to take care of others. The same applies for self-care!
Most mothers love selflessly and would do anything for their loved ones. This doesn't imply that they should not take care of themselves. Self-care is not selfish; it is a selfless act that equips and empowers mothers to be great wives, mothers, friends, sisters, or aunts.1 Peter 3:4 describes a beauty that comes from within that is precious to God. This is the kind of beauty to pursue when practicing self-care.
The Perfect Mother Exists – And It’s Not Me!
Due to social media, many mothers compare the highlight reel of an elusive 'perfect mother' seen on Instagram to their everyday lives. It is a dangerous parallel to draw as it compares the best moment of someone's day to the worst moment of our own.
For the mothers out there: know that you were created specifically for the children that God gave you. He has uniquely equipped you to be their mother. Treasure each moment with your children, no matter how imperfect they are. (Luke 2:51 – And his mother [Mary] treasured up all these things in her heart).
Mental Health and Motherhood with Tova Kreps, LCSW, Beverly Barrios, and Patricia Ritsema